I have regularly said that I’m not hired to teach and assess curriculum, although I will do well at that too. I’m hired to foster relationships with my students—to know they are safe and loved.
With a solid relationship formed then when trouble arises—either in the student’s life or with school discipline issues—the foundation is set to deal with the student already secure in their relationship with you. In a crisis, they are more willing to take guidance and/or correction. In these times it is so valuable that you are not beginning to get to know them; you already have information to relate to. Ways I’m intentional in relationship building with students:
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Lasting learning does not occur without the presence of meaningful student-teacher relationships. When a student walks into the classroom with an antagonistic attitude towards their instructor (and vice-versa), learning becomes a secondary task during that time. Rather, when students feel safe, accepted, and able to be their true selves, it opens up the opportunity for the classroom to be transformed into a place of valuable intuition and opportunity.
What are some ways I developed my meaningful relationships?
Making strong connections to students is the key to engaging students. Students want to work for you when they have a connection to the teacher. Students want to feel heard and seen. Throughout my career, in a personal response to text, a common theme among many students is that they are not seen; they feel that nobody cares. We can change that. When a student comes early and is sitting in class, ask them about their weekend or how they spend their free time. Once you know that they are a hockey player/dancer/musician- check in with them to see how their game went or recital. I also tell stories about myself and I can make connections to different students through a television show or favorite movie. Are they a Flames fan? Talk about the latest game. A skier? Favorite runs in Kicking Horse. What are your plans after high school? As we circulate in the class, have a 2 minute conversation about something that does not have to do with the course content but lets them know we care.
The reason that I became a teacher, as most people, is the students. Students do not remember what you taught them but they do remember how we made them feel. Honestly, it does not take much. Many kids are never asked about them. Once a connection is made, they might work a little harder. And even if they do not, they know we care. Our job as a teacher can be frustrating and overwhelming. We sometimes need to check in with ourselves on why we got into the profession in the first place. Take everything one day at a time. Start from day 1 building a good rapport by giving lots of positive feedback, compliments, words of praise and pats on the back for all positive behaviors. Catch students being good instead of focusing on the negative. If students give a wrong answer, simply answer “good try, almost, nice try, very close, thank you for trying, etc” so they will continue to try again. Don’t be afraid to laugh and really talk with students. Work with struggling students in small groups, and make lessons exciting and fun. Never embarrass students, talk to them quietly when needed, and give lots of encouragement. Use lots of different types of assessments, not a bunch of boring worksheets, and teach with enthusiasm and show the kids you are happy to be there teaching them. Write a wide variety of teacher comments and warm fuzzies on their written work and say verbally to encourage them to work hard and to know you care about them.
Listen to them, read nonverbal cues, and tell them you care. I teach 7th grade and at the end of every class period I tell them "I love you, hugs and kisses, see you tomorrow." Yesterday a couple of them laughed and asked why I always say that. I told them that there are children out there who may only hear it when I say it, so not only do I say it, I mean it. Remember, the great Maya Angelou once said "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." Maybe they will forget that I said it, but they will remember that their teacher really cared about them.
I always tell them I love to go to their sports games/recitals/plays/concerts. Really anything that they participate in outside of school! It’s also a great time to connect with their family and make a meaningful relationship with them outside of school. It really helps to bridge that gap. My kids LOVE having their teacher there.
I do a morning meeting (2nd grade, but I did it last year as well with 5th grade) where kids greet each other (we go around in a circle, they greet the person greeting them with a smile, wave, handshake, high 5, or hug-with consent, and greet the next person), then we go back around and I ask how they’re doing (I pass around a feeling chart so they aren’t allowed to just say good) and a question of the day. I also use restorative circles, handshake and smiles to move forward from conflicts. It helps my kids to trust that I’ll always hear them out when something is going on and care about their well-being
There is no trick. Be a human that has genuine interest in a child. I do a morning journal and ask questions that may prompt conversations and uncover interests. From there I continue to strike up conversations with each of my students when time allows.
Be real! Teach expectations. Talk to your kids, and make sure they know you are a safe person to trust. I greet my kids with a smile. When they are walking in I welcome each by name. I help them to feel important and believe in who they are. We do Social Emotional activities each morning and when transitioning from something difficult we do music and playdough. I teach kids to breath when faced with struggles and to take ownership of their learning. I love them!
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This is real advice from real teachersEvery teacher knows that there is an essential purpose in forming strong relationships with students, and there is many ways to do so. However, it is common to not know the best way to approach this, or sometimes we may not even know where to start. |